Peace in the Storm

 The children started riding lessons again today. They just love it! And I love that they are really getting to learn. We have a surprise coming tomorrow that the kids will be so excited about.
While Chris took them to riding lessons, Henry's nurse and I took him to the hospital.

Henry's puking (more than his normal) has carried over into day three.  Henry has been so sweaty nothing would stick to his face. He had two NG's put in today because they kept falling out thankfully the hospital had this fantastic glue that works for wet skin. His NG stickers are holding much better. The long and short of it is if Henry is still vomiting in 48hrs we may change his NG tube to a NJ tube which means the tube will bypass his stomach.
•Because the tube runs to the intestines, it needs to be placed by Interventional Radiology using x-rays to insure correct placement. Many hospitals perform this procedure under sedation, some larger children's hospitals do not. •Henry would be continuously fed. There is no bolus feeding to the intestines.
•It is a bigger deal if he pulls out the tube because he will need to get it placed by Interventional Radiology.

Lots of cons but if it helps his little tummy it may be worth it.

Pumping

 Almost 8 weeks of exclusively breastfeeding Seamus and 8 weeks of exclusively pumping for Henry. I nurse Seamus on demand aka every time he realizes he is not nursing, and pumping every 2.5 hours for 30 mins around the clock. Henry's feeds take about an hour a feed. He starts his feed  with EBM in a bottle but is only able to take in 20-30mls max and then tires out due to his heart the rest goes down the tube.
 Not being able to breastfeed Henry and pumping instead has been exhausting,  overwhelming, and to be really honest I feel inadequate. Which is nuts because this is all out of my control.
The feeding tube has become my frienemy. I hate it for all of its inconveniences and resent it because it represents that I feel like I have failed at the basic task of feeding my baby. At the same time, I love it because it means my baby is alive and MUCH healthier than he would be without it.
Henry having breast milk is so important to me, this baby has been threw so much already and really needs all those live antibodies to keep his immune system high.  Pumping like this makes me feel like I am doing SOMETHING to help this baby, every time I pump I tell myself "one more time".
  As hard as it is I also know it's one season of my life and each day, week, month that goes by I am so happy he has the very best.

The Day I Became a Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,
I'll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick.
I thought, "am I to blame"?
I don't think I can handle this.
I am really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking.
I have loved him for so long.

I will not give up on this child.
I will listen to your advice.
I will give my child any chance.
No matter what the price.
I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube.
My child must survive!

Will he need a lot of therapy?
Will he gain the needed weight?
Please God, help me do this.
I will accept our fate.

When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.
How many parents would love that sound.
Tomorrow I will be kinder.
As another Angel earns his wings,
I run to my child's bed.
I watch him sleep for quite a while.
I bend down and kiss his head.
I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.
I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.

And yet, I trust you hold his life, and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment he's here,
but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!

From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by his bed. From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.
From wondering, "will he be alright?", to watching him reach out his hands.
With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.

For all who see that faded line.
I look to them and smile.
You see my child is loved so much.
I would face ANY trial.
That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to his beautiful heart).
God must have known how much I'd love him (Just as He loved him from the start).

A heart mom is always a heart mom.
Now wise beyond her years.
For those who have angels in heaven,
Our hearts share in all of your tears.

Every day I will try and remember,
I was chosen for him (and no other).
I will always embrace that beautiful day.......
When I became a "Heart Mother".

- Author Unknown

Raspberry Leaf Home Made Tea

 

Raspberry leaf tea is probably my favorite herb and definitely my most consumed herb. It's not my favorite because of the taste but because of the amazing health profile it carries.  It's naturally high in magnesium, potassium, iron and b-vitamins which make it helpful for nausea, leg cramps and improves your sleep during pregnancy. It strengthens the uterus and pelvic muscles which some midwives say leads to shorter and easier labors. This has been a very true fact for me, it also has helped with postpartum bleeding.  I currently am almost 27 weeks with my twins and am drinking 2L a day of it at almost $7 a box it can get expensive quickly and I run out at the worst times. If you scroll back a couple posts I shared that someone blessed us with raspberry plants, what a perfect time to make my own leaf tea!  All you need to do is pluck off a decent amount of nice looking ones. Once you’ve collected a decent amount of leaves, give them a quick rinse and dry them out. You can do this fairly easily by laying them to dry out in the sun for a few days. Once your leaves are all nice and dry and you’re ready to brew your first cup of red raspberry leaf tea, just take about a half ounce of the leaves per cup and pour boiling water over them, steep for 10 minutes or so and then enjoy.  I have been making iced tea with mine during these hot summer days and I find drink way more this way as well.

Tea Time

I have never cared for the taste of Red Raspberry Leaf tea, but the benifits are HUGE it strengthens and tones the uterus, to prepare the womb for childbirth.
I have been drinking 3-4 cups daily.

Baby Fat

Look at these cheeks! Avocados are full of fat, and they are the perfect first solid foods for baby. Did you know a medium size avocado contains approximately 700 calories and up to 30 grams of fat WOW! All this fat does amazing things to that growing brain.

Kefir

I have been on the hunt for a good kefir starter for awhile now. I have been dying to try some.
I finally found some. I am so excited for it to get here. And we can start this.